Gonzo, Essays, Manifestos

40 texts · ~140 min of reading

The Carpenter's Son
The Carpenter's Son Son of a Religious Fanatic

Jesus — The Carpenter's Son. 15 BC. Harsh times. People walked around in rags, their only possession — a single donkey, and even that could barely walk.But on the other hand, not knowing what a shower, a toilet, or an orthopedic mattress wa…

~8 min read
Citizen Vigilante
Citizen Vigilante Citizen Vigilante Who is Armie Hammer getting revenge on?

"Why is the movie 'Citizen Vigilante' banned in Europe?" That’s the title of the video YouTube shoved in my face. And what do I see on the thumbnail? Armie Hammer. I didn’t watch the video, but the news intrigued me. So I immediately went t…

~7 min read
Violation
Violation Real Horrors

Violation is a bleak psychological horror film that presses down on your psyche and leaves an unpleasant aftertaste. But maybe it's just me being sensitive — I might even cry. I watched it back in 2020 and I still remember the impression it…

~6 min read
Resident Evil
Resident Evil Resident Evil 2026: A New Beginning and a New Hope

Back in 2012, Capcom released the sixth mainline entry in the Resident Evil universe. After the game's resounding failure, the studio took a brief pause to rethink its approach. A few years later, they released the seventh installment, shoc…

~6 min read
Meat Kills
Meat Kills Meat Kills Vegans and Animal Rights Activists

Meat kills — just as butchers slaughter pigs, and animal rights activists slaughter butchers, and vice versa. At first they only wanted to intimidate each other, but at some point they crossed the point of no return, and the mission to save…

~6 min read
Iron Lung
Iron Lung

Iron Lung is a sci-fi horror film from YouTuber Mark Fischbach (Markiplier). He stepped into three roles here: director, editor, and lead actor. And with a $3 million budget, he managed to make a genuinely decent movie for true lovers of in…

~5 min read
The Odyssey
The Odyssey The Odyssey

is a three-hour epic by Christopher Nolan starring actors from the Marvel Cinematic Universe. I counted at least six of them. But seriously, given the massive cast of The Odyssey, try finding an actor who hasn't been tainted by their involv…

~5 min read
Alien: Covenant
Alien: Covenant Alien: Covenant

is the last good film in the Alien universe. But you probably already know that. Still, let's dig a little deeper into the context.Lately, a trend has taken hold where a film is measured not by its actual quality — the craft, the writing, t…

~5 min read
All of Us Are Dead
All of Us Are Dead

The Day All of Us Are Dead — How Soon Will It Happen? A zombie apocalypse isn't the best time to confess your love to someone. But on the other hand, there might not be another time. So better now than never. That's settled.Next point: a zo…

~4 min read
The X-Files: I Want to Believe - Vrach Frankenshteyn
The X-Files: I Want to Believe – Vrach Frankenshteyn The X-Files: I Want to Believe – Vrach Frankenshteyn

The X-Files: I Want to Believe – Vrach Frankenshteyn is the true director's cut of the 2008 film — and a far more terrifying one. As far as I remember, the original was a slow-burn thriller that felt wildly out of place with the tone of the…

~4 min read
Hokum
Hokum Hokum: The witch in chains is waiting for you in the basement

"Hokum" translates to "nonsense" or "tall tales." And thanks to his tall tales about conquistadors, Oom Bauman (played by the brilliant Adam Scott) became a famous writer. But it didn't make him happy. His entire life, he's been tormented b…

~4 min read
J'accuse
J'accuse J'accuse (I Accuse)

J'Accuse is the greatest anti-war film in history. Pay attention to the release date. It would seem that society has become civilized: the Dark Ages and the First World War are behind us. Technological progress is carrying humanity straight…

~4 min read
Tumbbad
Tumbbad Tumbbad

isn't just a horror film — it's a dark folkloric fable that breaks away from the usual conventions of Indian cinema.It's a story about greed spanning three generations. The protagonist searches for hidden treasure in the cursed estate of Tu…

~4 min read
Slanted
Slanted Slanted

is a social drama with body horror elements that exposes modern values imposed by society and the performative lifestyle of Instagram models.Upon arriving in the US, the American dream swallowed a little Chinese girl named Joan whole. She's…

~4 min read
Obsession
Obsession Obsession

— picture this: you're getting ready for work in the morning, your girlfriend packed you a lunch and smiles as she walks you to the door.You come home in the evening, open the door, and she's standing in the exact same spot, covered in piss…

~3 min read
I Love Boosters
I Love Boosters I Love Boosters

(also known as Velvet Gang) is a story about philanthropic thieves who steal high-end fashion to resell it at a fraction of the price. Through these actions, they attempt to destroy the business empire of a world-renowned designer, played b…

~3 min read
Passenger
Passenger

The marketing campaign for the horror film Passenger cites a statistic: 130 million people worldwide take road trips every year. And how many of them disappear without a trace? 15,400. Scary, right? Are you already thinking about canceling …

~3 min read
Saccharine
Saccharine Saccharine

is a horror film and a weight-loss guide rolled into one. In a way, it’s a warning: the path will be thorny, dangerous, and occasionally terrifying. The protagonist tries every trick in the book to lose weight: diets, clean eating, workouts…

~3 min read
Whistle
Whistle

In the horror film Whistle, a group of high schoolers gets their hands on an Aztec death whistle. Not taking it seriously, they blow into it…Perhaps a good movie could have come out of this premise. But what we got is total crap.Messy plot,…

~3 min read
The Funeral
The Funeral

All he had to do was drive her to the cemetery so the long-awaited The Funeral could take place. But no, he just had to open the coffin lid.The Funeral (Cenaze) is a genuine auteur film, not the polished product that filmmakers like Robert …

~3 min read
Hereditary
Hereditary

I don't remember what feelings I experienced during my first viewing of probably the most famous A24 film, Hereditary, but during the rewatch, I didn't like it.Probably the best scene in the film is when the girl's head gets ripped off at h…

~3 min read
The Unknown
The Unknown

Some guy notices a girl at a party (The Unknown). Maybe it’s that love at first sight everyone talks about, and so often mistakes for the real thing. But what is love, really? Let me digress for a moment.Recently, I fell victim to this awfu…

~3 min read
Her Private Hell
Her Private Hell Her Private Hell

marks Nicolas Winding Refn’s return to feature films. That doesn’t mean I’ve been counting down the days for a decade. Nor does it mean Refn has been idle. He’s directed several series and shorts, danced on TikTok, and lent his likeness to …

~3 min read
Honeydew
Honeydew

Why I Love "Honeydew"I also love getting back to nature: camping by the sea, in the mountains, or deep in the woods. But sometimes, a peaceful retreat away from civilization can be easily ruined. In my case, it was just a few offhand remark…

~3 min read
The Dark
The Dark The Dark

is a small, independent, well-crafted horror film. And I really love small, yet independent, well-crafted horror films. On tight budgets, they try to squeeze every drop out of the resources they have. And, as practice shows, what matters mo…

~3 min read
Backrooms
Backrooms The Backrooms: A Reality Without Beginning or End

Maybe we’re already living in the Backrooms, a reality where YouTubers make films ten times better than directors with twenty or thirty years of experience? In this reality, directors aren't made—they're born. There's simply no other explan…

~3 min read
Brain Freeze
Brain Freeze Brain Freeze is an eco-satire zombie horror!

If you watched the series La Femme Nikita (1997), know this: you're not old. You're a seasoned cinephile with decades of experience. And if, after all these years, nothing and no one has managed to break you or strip away your passions and …

~3 min read
Tatami
Tatami Tatami

is a stylish black-and-white political thriller.Freedom or death, betrayal or victory.Leila is competing in the World Judo Championships and is ready to step onto the tatami, where nothing will stop her from winning. Except, perhaps, the go…

~3 min read
Best Wishes to All
Best Wishes to All

Before I started watching, I had no idea just how utterly terrifying Best Wishes to All would turn out to be. The first half-hour doesn't hint at any horror at all, but then the psychological pressure kicks in. You start believing everythi…

~3 min read
Bramayugam
Bramayugam Bramayugam

translates from Malayalam as "The Age of Madness". A time when the gods abandoned the earth and humanity was left to its own devices. Fear, panic, and chaos engulfed the planet. Thus began the age of madness.The plot of Bramayugam can be su…

~3 min read
Noise
Noise Noise

is a solid horror movie, but it’s not without its flaws. It feels like the director couldn't quite bring all his ideas to the screen, or perhaps he had so many that some had to be scrapped along the way. A few unresolved scenes definitely l…

~2 min read
Summer Time Rendering
Summer Time Rendering

For most people, Summer Time means the sea, vacations, and trips out of town. For me, it means hellish heat and allergy season.Until recently, I thought the characters in the anime Summer Time Rendering felt the exact same way about the sum…

~2 min read
Fahrenheit 451
Fahrenheit 451 Reading Is Harmful — It Makes You Smarter

Fahrenheit 451 is a dystopia film from the distant past that still hasn't lost its relevance. That's how you could sum up its plot in a nutshell. But plots often turn out to be prophetic — or, conversely, inspired by real events. So dependi…

~2 min read
Darkness
Darkness

I'd draw a certain parallel between the horror films Darkness and Hereditary. I first watched Darkness twenty years ago, and it's still on the list of best films kept by my brain. I think it's important to note that my brain's favorite-film…

~2 min read
Errementari: The Blacksmith and the Devil
Errementari: The Blacksmith and the Devil Errementari: The Blacksmith and the Devil

will reveal a secret that hundreds of other films kept quiet about. Instead, they just scared us with demons and the seven circles of hell. What is this, if not a conspiracy against the inhabitants of the earthly realm?Maybe the devil himse…

~2 min read
Disappear Completely
Disappear Completely Disappear Completely

— Tabloid photographer Santiago specializes in the "crime pages" — shooting sensational photos of corpses for the yellow press. Yet, he hasn’t given up hope of becoming a respected photographer and exhibiting his work in galleries.After ano…

~2 min read
You Are Not Me
You Are Not Me You Are Not Me

. Imagine: you arrive at your parents' house for the New Year holidays and see that some woman is sitting at your place at the festive table. She's wearing your clothes, and your parents treat her as if she's their child, not you.What the h…

~2 min read
In the Earth
In the Earth In the Earth

is a masterpiece for intellectuals and absolute garbage for the masses. How often have you heard phrases like "There's no accounting for taste" or "To each their own"? Only people with zero taste and no sense of style say that, using tho…

~2 min read
Alpha
Alpha Alpha

— I lost the thread of the narrative, meaning I stopped understanding what was happening in the second half of the film.In the near future, an unexplained disease runs rampant, slowly turning people into statues. It’s unclear whether it spr…

~2 min read
I Accuse
I Accuse

If the original I Accuse (J'Accuse, 1919) was a silent cry of the soul, a reaction to the First World War, then the remake became a warning that no one heard. Soon after, the Second World War began, in which new inventions and technologies …

~2 min read