Saccharine

Description

Saccharine is a horror film and a weight-loss guide rolled into one. In a way, it’s a warning: the path will be thorny, dangerous, and occasionally terrifying. The protagonist tries every trick in the book to lose weight: diets, clean eating, workouts, and, of course, sugar substitutes. Sugar is evil! Just like white bread. They also say living itself is harmful—it makes you age. But I genuinely don’t eat pure white sugar. Or white bread.

I haven’t had a sugar bowl on my table for years. Instead, there’s a clay pot with hypoallergenic honey. I put it wherever I’d normally reach for sugar. Mostly, though, it’s bran for breakfast with vegan chocolate milk (I love it) and buckwheat porridge with that same oat alternative.

What do you use to replace that awful, disgusting-in-every-way refined white sugar? Coconut sugar? Stevia? Or do you prefer saccharin? By the way, don’t even think about swapping white sugar for brown cane sugar: it’s the exact same crap, just brown.

Saccharin is a monster hiding inside snack packaging. A master of deception. Your body senses sweetness but gets zero calories. That can trigger increased appetite and cravings for real sugar.

Modern studies show that artificial sweeteners (including saccharin) may suppress beneficial gut microbiota. This can indirectly lead to impaired glucose tolerance and metabolic syndrome.

Drop an imaginary like if any of this made you smile. Don’t worry, I know you’re not on social media. Instead of likes, I’m perfectly happy just knowing you got some good vibes from reading this nonsense.

You know, you shouldn’t let me near the “healthy food” aisle. I immediately start buying everything, then they sit at home until they expire and get thrown out. All because half of it requires cooking, and I hate cooking. But sugar-free marshmallows, wafers, chocolate, and protein bars? They never stick around.

Lately, I’ve gotten hooked on these Russian chocolate candies called Bears in the Forest (Мишки в лесу). They’ve always been loaded with sugar, but the manufacturer recently jumped on the wellness trend and released a stevia version. If you ever spot them on a shelf, check the label carefully—they still sell the original sugary ones right next to the “sugar-free” pack.
And no, this isn’t an ad. The manufacturer didn’t pay me to mention Bears in the Forest (Мишки в лесу).

And now, just when you’ve completely forgotten that you’re actually on a page for the film Saccharine, not reading a food blog, I’ll bring you back to reality. Saccharine is directed by Natalie Erika James, the filmmaker behind the brilliant horror Relic. She also directed Apartment 7A, which I haven’t seen yet.