Whistle

Description

In the horror film Whistle, a group of high schoolers gets their hands on an Aztec death whistle. Not taking it seriously, they blow into it…
Perhaps a good movie could have come out of this premise. But what we got is total crap.

Messy plot, plastic characters, and a complete lack of atmosphere. At times, it felt like a cheap rip-off of the Final Destination franchise. And why the hell did they shove a lesbian storyline in there? I have nothing against sex scenes or queer representation—in fact, I’m all for it. But it needs to be justified by the narrative, not just thrown in as a checkbox.

If you think back to teen horror movies from twenty years ago, their romantic subplots were formulaic and predictable, sure, but at least they felt organic.

There it is. I’ve finally lived long enough to utter the phrase “things were better back in the day,” and it’s terrifying. I never thought I’d suffer this fate. But I still hope this wasn’t said because I’m getting old, but because movies are objectively being made worse.

Maybe it’s all about maximum plot simplification—making it digestible for absolutely everyone so no questions arise. Making it “background noise” where you can miss half the film and still get the gist.

For this excessive simplification, such films regularly face waves of criticism, yet the industry keeps churning them out. Meanwhile, small studios with tiny budgets continue to experiment and earn back their investment tenfold.

Of course, my rant above applies mostly to big studio pictures, and Whistle is a relatively small film. So, why it turned out bad isn’t exactly a mystery to me: it’s just so unengaging that I don’t even care to analyze it further.

Yet, in 2015, the same director Corin Hardy made an excellent and memorable horror film called The Hallow. Maybe he had more creative control back then, so it actually worked. Or maybe times are just different now, when everyone who used to make good films is now making bad ones.

Starring Dafne Keen, the grown-up Laura (X-23) from the brilliant and dearly loved Logan, as well as the lead in the excellent fantasy series His Dark Materials. I genuinely hope Whistle remains the lowest point in her filmography.
Not recommended for viewing.

By the way, I think this might be the last film where you’ll see Nick Frost carrying extra weight. But don’t take that as a call to action.
It’s actually great that he’s lost it—he probably feels much better now, with lower bad cholesterol and blood pressure under control. I’m genuinely happy for him. 😊